dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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