Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
