And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
