no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
do nipples grow back?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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