I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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