the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
