Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
