love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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