I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He did a backflip because drugs
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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