So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
