Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
