We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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