he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize