just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
