Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
