idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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