O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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