Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
