Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
