she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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