I'm lost and stupid without you.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize