is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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