At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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