Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
