The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
