It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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