honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
