Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
