Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
