They should really pass out barf bags in church
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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