I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Sext me about skeletons
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
