the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
