Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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