What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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