According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
