and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize