I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
