i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
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