TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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