Whatcha textin bout Willis?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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