I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Randomize
