I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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