just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
