barbara walters just said penis...
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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