she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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