Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
