omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
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