I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
