Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Randomize
