Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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