You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
