In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
