Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize