Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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