I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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