i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
