Having a random hookup so left but love u
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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