remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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