There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
