So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
