he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
