She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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