she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
