You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize