My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
