love makes seman taste better
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
