You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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