I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
