She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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