I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
