I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
