therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I need to stop coming to work sober
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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