If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
