Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
