im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
