Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
