Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize