no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize