see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
