I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
