Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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